


Of Birthday Parties and Cockblockers

by MapacheLuna



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Sex, Fingering, Lingerie, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 11:45:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5289488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MapacheLuna/pseuds/MapacheLuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tetsurou and Tooru really just want some time alone at Tetsurou's birthday party, is that too much to ask for?</p><p>Apparently it is when you have friends like Iwaizumi Hajime, Akaashi Keiji, and Kozume Kenma.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Birthday Parties and Cockblockers

**Author's Note:**

> DAMN IT, THIS IS AN ENTIRE WEEK PLUS TWO DAYS LATE. HAPPY (American) THANKSGIVING?! HERE, HAVE SOME OIKURO BIRTHDAY SMUT.
> 
> This was just meant to be pointless birthday sex, why did it turn into a monster. *Sobbing*
> 
> Dedicated to you Tumblr enablers, you know who you are. (′ʘ⌄ʘ‵)

“Bokuto?” Tetsurou called out, pushing the door open with his back. “You in yet?” He shuffled the bag in his arms into a more comfortable position. “You know, it’s really messed up that you made me buy my own cake, bro. It’s _my_ birthday-,”

“SURPRISE!”

Tetsurou stumbled with a curse, the box in his hold suddenly all sharp edges as he slammed into the doorknob at a weird angle. “What the fu-,”

The lights turned on to reveal what was probably an occupation violation’s worth of people crowding around his living room, although in any other setting it probably would have been considered “modest.” At first glance he could spot some crows near his couch, Sugawara tossing handfuls of confetti up in the air a little too gleefully, Sawamura torn between smiling and grimacing as colored paper floated into his hair. He could even see Tsukishima lounging in a corner, trying to blend in with a lamp while Hinata bounced up and down nearby. There was a significantly greater amount of Nekoma’s volleyball team, both graduates and current members alike, like Lev, looking hysterical with a tiny paper hat perched atop his head, party blower uncurling in his mouth while Yaku sighed indulgently nearby.

Bokuto popped up in front of him just then, blocking his view of the rest of the room with a manic smile. “Weren’t expecting that, were you?” He tossed a fist up in the air with a hoot before Tetsurou could even open his mouth. “It was all Kenma’s idea, you know?” He brandished Kenma underneath his arm like a prized possession, brightening when he just shrugged and averted his eyes.

“It wasn’t a big deal. I just called Shouyou and told the team,” He darted his eyes up at Tetsurou. “Happy birthday, again, Kuro.”

“But you did it on such short notice!” Bokuto barreled on, actual stars gleaming in his eyes, complementing the glittery designs on the two party hats he had perched jauntily on his head. “You’re so cool, Kenma!” Tetsurou couldn’t help but be silently amused at the slow and steady pink flush that was spreading across Kenma’s cheeks as Bokuto continued to fawn over him.

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi materialized between them with a sigh. “Please stop crowding Kenma-kun; you’re making him uncomfortable.” He flashed Tetsurou a smile as he finally relieved him of the box. “Happy birthday, Kuroo-san. I hope you didn’t spend too much on the cake; we had already bought one.” He quirked an inquisitive eyebrow behind him. “I’m not sure why Bokuto-san thought sending you to buy a _cake_ was the best distraction tactic…”

“Hey, it got him out of here for a while, didn’t it?” Bokuto pouted. “It even gave us enough time for his surpri-,”

“Koutarou,” Kenma’s voice was soft, but it had Bokuto snapping his jaw shut with a click, eyes wide with panic.

“Surprise?” Tetsurou finally found his voice, curiosity peaking. “I thought this _was_ a surprise?”

“Try again,” A very familiar voice trilled behind him, long and slender fingers falling over his eyes. “Guess who~”

“No way,” Tetsurou breathed, spinning around only to be met with a pair of big brown eyes framed by perfectly tussled curls. “Tooru?!”

“Happy birth- oh!” Tooru interrupted himself with a gasp as Tetsurou picked him up, breaking out in peals of laughter when he was spun around. “Tetsu-chan!”

Tetsurou brought Tooru down and immediately dove in for a kiss, swallowing the last of his giggles with an urgency that he’d make time to be embarrassed about later. For now though, he just took the moment to enjoy the easy way that Tooru’s lips parted for him, soft and spit-slick, familiar despite the months they hadn’t seen each other. There was a fire that was starting to burn just underneath his skin, roaring louder with each tiny noise that escaped Tooru’s throat, only to be interrupted by the very loud and pointed cough from somewhere behind him, and Tetsurou was suddenly reminded that they were very much not alone in the room.

He reluctantly pulled away, eyes darting all over Tooru’s features, taking in his flushed cheeks and smiling lips. “I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to make it?”

“Mhm,” Tooru hummed, bringing his hands up to frame his face. “I took my exam this morning, and Iwa-chan was kind enough to drive us.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Iwa-chan drives like he has something to prove, so we got here pretty quickly.”

Iwaizumi snapped his head around with a scowl. “You’re the one who spent the entire ride screeching that we were going to be late.”

“Because we were going to be,” Tooru shot back, leaning back in to nuzzle against Tetsurou’s cheek. “But we weren’t and here we are. Were you surprised?”

“Best present ever,” Tetsurou told him seriously, probably creating unforgivable wrinkles in the fabric of Tooru’s really nice sweater with how tightly he was holding him, but his boyfriend didn’t seem to mind. “Thank you, Iwaizumi.”

Iwaizumi shifted on his feet, rubbing the back of his neck stiffly. “Uh, yeah, don’t worry about it. Happy birthday, Kuroo.”

“Thanks, man…” Tetsurou cocked an eyebrow as he watched Iwaizumi’s eyes slide back to the side with a noncommittal grunt. He brushed his nose along Tooru’s hairline, taking the moment to whisper in his ear, “Iwaizumi didn’t break all those traffic laws for me, did he.”

“I’m pretty sure he has a crush on Akaashi-kun,” Tooru murmured back. “He’s just in denial.”

“Pity,” Tetsurou shot Akaashi a sly glance, only to be met with a pretty remarkable stank eye that was all the more funny with his pink cheeks. “I’m pretty sure Akaashi has the hots for him too.” He lifted his head to say to the room at large, “Well, are we going to get this party started, or what?”

“WHOO!” Lev whooped, tossing his arms up in the air before turning to Yaku with a grin. “Kuroo-san has a boyfriend?”

“Idiot,” Yaku slapped him on the back, hard. “Why do you think we were waiting for him?”

“I thought he was bringing the cake.”

 “ _Kai_ and _I_ brought the cake.” Yaku narrowed his eyes at him. “You opened the door for us.”

“Well, yeah,” Lev blinked at him. “But I thought they were bringing another one. You and Hinata are still growing after all, right Yaku-san?”

Tetsurou started guffawing over Lev’s pained yelps, leaning over to press his forehead to Tooru’s. “We have the best friends ever, don’t we?”

* * *

 

Tetsurou had the worst friends ever.

He slumped against the wall behind him, bringing his cup up to his forehead with a weary sigh. He hadn’t been cockblocked so much since that time his weekend at Tooru’s house had coincided with his nephew’s, and even then, he had been able to get _some_ time alone with Tooru uninterrupted. So far today, he and Tooru hadn’t been able to occupy each other’s personal spaces for more than five minutes without someone abruptly intruding on them. Worse of all, he _knew_ they were doing it on purpose.

The first time had been innocuous enough. He had been sitting on the couch when Tooru had slid into his lap, all sultry smiles and far from innocent touches to his chest through the buttons of his shirt.

“Hey,” He had whispered, warm air puffing pleasantly against his lips.

“Hey yourself,” Tetsurou murmured back, leaning the rest of the way in to seal their lips together, moving his hands to steady Tooru by the hips, rubbing little circles into the skin above his waistband.

It had just started to get heated, with Tooru leaning further onto him, pressing his head against the back of the couch with his weight, fingers decidedly plucking the first few buttons on his shirt open, when a sudden new weight on the couch had jostled him off with a surprised squeak. Tetsurou managed to grab Tooru around the waist before he fell off completely, turning his head to the side only to be met with the wide, disinterested gaze of his own best friend.

“Kenma, what-,”

“Koutarou wants to play Mario Kart,” Kenma interrupted, turning his head to face the screen, nothing in his demeanor acknowledging that he had almost sent Tetsurou’s boyfriend tumbling backwards off the couch. “I don’t know why he likes losing so much.”

“Hey!” Bokuto whined, vaulting over the back of the couch, cuddling up to Kenma and further crowding Tetsurou and Tooru against the arm. “I didn’t do that badly last time, did I?”

“No, I guess you didn’t,” Kenma had conceded, hiding a small smile when Bokuto had hooted happily and thrown an arm around him. And really, Tetsurou was all about his best friend finding true love and all, but a little consideration for his own love life would have been nice.

He hadn’t started suspecting something was up until the second time, after he’d followed Tooru into the kitchen when he’d volunteered to get more chips. He’d walked in to the sight of Tooru’s ass up in the air, swaying slightly as he bent to rummage for something underneath the counter.

“Mm, I missed this,” Tetsurou had sighed, crowding behind Tooru as he’d rolled upright, bowl in hand.

“Oh?” Tooru purred, bracing himself against the counter. “And what exactly is _‘this,’_ Tetsu-chan?” He ground his ass back into Tetsurou’s crotch, surprising a hiss out of him. “Is that what you meant?” He shot a glance at him over his shoulder, eyes half-lidded as he buried his smirk into his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Tetsurou slid a hand up Tooru’s shirt, feeling the muscles tense beneath his touch, the other hand moving to brace his hip. “That’s _exactly_ what I meant.” He pressed a kiss to the back of Tooru’s neck. “Missed your pretty face too, though.”

“Aw, you always say the sweetest things,” Tooru cooed, breathe hitching when Tetsurou rolled his hips forward. “O-oh, that feels nice.”

“Doesn’t feel too bad on this end either,” Tetsurou hid his grin in Tooru’s neck as his giggles dissolved into soft pants, grinding forward more insistently with each sound that escaped his lips.

He had just closed his mouth around a particularly well-loved spot on Tooru’s neck when a low groan echoed towards them.

“In the kitchen, really?” Iwaizumi had his arms crossed, a fierce scowl twisting his mouth. “Don’t you two have any shame?” Akaashi peeked around him, a similarly unimpressed look adorning his own face.

“That’s unsanitary, Kuroo-san,” He glanced around the kitchen, a bored expression slipping into place. “We’re waiting for the chips.”

Tetsurou had let his head fall onto Tooru’s shoulder with a groan, half-listening to Tooru’s whine of _“Why are you such a cockblocker, Iwa-chan?”_ and Iwaizumi’s rapid fire, _“What was that, Trashykawa? You want to fight?!”_ as he willed his erection down.

The rest of the afternoon had proceeded in a similar vein, with either Iwaizumi or Akaashi popping up in their periphery with a snide comment or a stare full of so much silent disdain that they’d pull apart just from the awkwardness of it. Every once in a while Kenma would join in too, suddenly appearing at their side with a question or a comment, causing Tooru to start with a yelp more often than not. Tetsurou for his part would get to spend those precious few seconds trying to avoid having his lip accidently bitten off by Tooru under his best friend’s judgmental watch.

The last time had really been the one that had cemented the idea that this was some sort of conspiracy though.

Tetsurou had been walking towards his bedroom to see if he could change into baggier pants or a longer shirt or _something_ -Yaku was starting to shoot him disgusted looks and he was honestly getting tired of it; it wasn’t _his_ fault that he was half-hard, nobody was letting him get off, damn it, - when a door had burst open and he had been yanked inside before he could even let out an indignant yelp.

He’d been blinded by the sudden fluorescent light and his back had been slammed against the door just as quickly before he’d caught the familiar scent of whatever powdery and ridiculously expensive shampoo his boyfriend used, and had finally been able to relax.

He huffed out a laugh, squinting down at Tooru’s strained expression. “I’m flattered, but you could have just asked, you know. My calendar is pretty flexible.”

“Shh!” Tooru snapped, peering over his shoulder suspiciously. “Did anyone follow you?”

“Uh, no?” Tetsurou cocked an eyebrow, watching the tension bleed out of Tooru’s shoulders. “Why?”

“Because,” Tooru leaned against him with an easy smile, bending down to suckle kisses onto the skin exposed by his still undone buttons, “I wanted to give you a little something.”

“Oh?” Tetsurou slid a hand down to cup Tooru’s ass, squeezing the firm muscle in his hold as he ground against him. “And is it what I think it is?”

“If you’re thinking ‘birthday blowjob,’ then yes,” Tooru pressed a way too short kiss to his lips, sliding down his body in a way that never failed to get his blood boiling. Tooru settled onto his knees, rubbing his face against the very interested bulge in Tetsurou’s jeans. “Are you already hard for me, Tetsu-chan? How cute.”

“Hey,” Tetsurou protested half-heartedly, “You’d be hard too if an angel had just offered to blow you.”

Tooru snorted, but Tetsurou could see the pleased blush creeping across his cheekbones. “Pretty sure that’s a sin, Tetsu-chan.”

Still standing by it,” Tetsurou pushed Tooru’s bangs back, watching his pretty brown eyes roll up to meet his. “My own pretty, naughty, little angel.”

“Shut up,” Tooru pouted, hands working deftly on his belt. “You’re such a dork, why am I even dating you?”

“Big dick.”

“Not that big,” Tooru yanked his pants down, humming happily at the sight of Tetsurou’s black boxer briefs. “My favorite pair.”

“Big enough to make you scream though,” Tetsurou tilted his hips toward him, cock twitching at the sight of Tooru’s pink lips so close. “So how about it?”

“Maybe later,” Tooru ran his tongue up the length of it, sucking softly on the head through the cotton while his fingers curled underneath the waistband. “Right now I just really want to choke on it.”

And of course right at that moment a loud banging began hammering a beat right next to Tetsurou’s head, making him jerk forward with a curse.

_“Kuroo-san, are you in there? Bokuto-san wants cake and we need you to cut it.”_

Tetsurou let his head hang in defeat, meeting Tooru’s expression of disbelief with a desperate one of his own.

“Really, Akaashi? _Really?_ ” If Akaashi could hear the frustrated sob in his words, he didn’t react to it.

_“Hurry up; we’re waiting for you.”_

Akaashi always had a bit of a bite to him, hidden by his calm gaze and velvet voice, but this, this was just _ruthless_.

And it was his birthday too.

Tetsurou blinked as his vision was suddenly filled with brown hair, automatically raising his cup up and out of the way as Tooru slumped against him with a loud sigh.

“Hey, you,” Tetsurou ran his free hand up and down Tooru’s back soothingly. “You sure you should be so close? I don’t want Iwaizumi accidently dropping a lit cigarette down my shirt, or something.”

“Iwa-chan doesn’t smoke,” Tooru muttered, wrapping his arms petulantly around Tetsurou’s waist. “Besides, he finally worked up the nerve to talk to Akaashi-kun, so he should be busy.”

Tetsurou looked up and sure enough, he could see Iwaizumi and Akaashi standing a little too close to be casual, Iwaizumi practically rubbing the back of his neck raw and Akaashi subtly twisting his fingers in and out of the hem of his shirt. It’d be kind of cute, if he didn’t have such a bad case of blue balls thanks to them.

“You think they’re being so pushy because they’re sexually frustrated?” He asked lightly, taking the opportunity to safely pull Tooru closer.

“I don’t care,” Tooru whined, burying his face into his shoulder. “I’m wearing my new pair of fuck-me-panties and you haven’t even gotten a chance to see them.”

Tetsurou choked, hand spasming on Tooru’s back. “Wait, really?”

Tooru lifted his head with a pretty pout. “Mhm. Blue. With lace.” His pout turned into an accusatory frown. “I’d tell you to take a peek, but I’m sure Ken-chan would teleport nearby.”

Tetsurou winced. “Yeah, Kenma’s just kind of a troll. Sometimes.”

“Tetsurou,” Uh oh, his full name; Tooru meant business. “I haven’t gotten laid in three months, I spent the morning trying to take a test while my professor slowly had a macchiato with way too much whipped cream, _then_ I got to watch my super hot, super buff best friend try on six different shirts before he finally picked one,” He paused for a breathe, “And _now_ I’m in Tokyo, in a pair of cheekster panties that are starting to chafe, with my unbearably sexy boyfriend who hasn’t even gotten a hand down my pants because _his best friend is just kind of a troll, sometimes_?!”

“You think I’m unbearably sexy?” Tetsurou smirked. “Aw, babe, I love you too.”

“Tetsu! Focus!” Tooru grabbed him by the collar, giving him a little shake. “I’ve barely touched myself waiting for today. Do you know what that means?” He narrowed his eyes. “I’ve gotten off _maybe_ three times in the last week, and nothing bigger than my finger has been up my ass,” He steadfastly ignored the absolutely repulsed look Tsukishima shot him as he walked past them. “I’m horny, and tight, and I want you to _fuck me_ until my legs _go numb_.” He was practically heaving as he brought himself nose to nose with Tetsurou. “So _fix this. **Now**_ **.** ”

Tooru kept his stern expression for a beat before his eyes widened in alarm, moving to steady Tetsurou as he began sliding down the wall. “Tetsu-chan! Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Tetsurou wheezed, “I just don’t think I’ve ever gotten so hard so fast.” He blinked rapidly. “I think my vision actually blacked out for a second.”

Tooru slapped him lightly on the chest. “I’m serious, Tetsu.”

Tetsurou gathered Tooru in his arms, bringing him close enough to press his hardening erection against him. “Do you think I’m not?” He took his chances and dipped his fingers into Tooru’s waistband, swallowing hard when he brushed something light and lacy. “Fuck, you weren’t kidding. Can’t wait to peel them off those gorgeous legs of yours.”

Tooru whimpered, hips jerking into his own. “Tetsu, _do_ _something_. I don’t think I can wait until tonight.”

“Fuck, fuck, alright,” Tetsurou looked around desperately, bypassing Sawamura’s suspicious glance and Sugawara’s curious one and landing on just the person he needed. “I got it.” He smiled roguishly at Tooru’s questioning noise. “We’ll just have to use their best weapon against them, and I’ve got just the man for the job.”

He reached out and snagged Lev as he was walking by. “Lev! Just the person I wanted to see!”

“Captain! And Captain’s boyfriend,” Lev blinked down at Tooru with inquisitive eyes. “Wow, you’re much prettier up close.”

“Thank you?” Tooru tilted his head with an indulgent smile as Lev nodded to himself.

“Too pretty for Kuroo-san; do you perhaps need glasses? My mom goes to a guy-,”

“Lev!” Tetsurou barked, tightening his hold on the back of his neck with a grimace. “I actually had something I wanted to tell you.”

“Oh?” Lev brightened up, smiling through the pain. “What’s that?”

“Ace secret.”

“But you’re not an ace-,”

“No,” Tetsurou interrupted, “I wasn’t, but Bokuto was.” He nodded towards where Bokuto was helping himself to his third slice of cake. “And you know what Bokuto has that you don’t? Coordination,” He barreled on before Lev could actually open his mouth. “And do you know how he got it?”

“Practice? Yaku-san suggested a blood sacrifice, but I’m a little scared of trying that.”

“Remind me to talk to Yaku later about terrorizing underclassmen again,” Tetsurou muttered to Tooru before turning back to Lev with a wide grin. “Not exactly. You see, Bokuto’s been dancing since middle school and as it so happens, dancing is great way to improve your coordination.”

“Dancing?” Lev wrinkled his nose. “But I can dance, Kuroo-san.”

“No Lev, you can’t.” Tetsurou deadpanned. “You flail around like a newborn giraffe. It’s painful to look at. Now here’s what I suggest you do.” He slapped his cup into Lev’s hands and spun him around. “Go ask him to give you some pointers. Specifically, ask about swing dancing; it’s the best style.”

“Really?” Lev looked down at him with such an open and trusting gaze that Tetsurou almost felt guilty. Then he remembered ‘fuck-me-panties’ and got over it.

“Yup! Now go, before he gets distracted.”

“That was pretty genius,” Tooru commented as they watched Lev bound over to Bokuto with all the unbridled enthusiasm of a newborn puppy. “And a little evil.” He glanced at Tetsurou out of the corners of his eyes, biting his lip with a little grin. “Bet I can do you one better.”

Tetsurou just barely managed to raise an eyebrow before Tooru was leaning over and dragging Hinata away from the remarkably animated one-sided conversation he was having with Fukunaga. “Chibi-chan! How are you? How’s Tobio-chan doing? Has his frown turned permanent yet? No? Pity,” Tooru carried on even as Hinata’s eyes got wider and wider, “I just happened to overhear something very interesting that I think you’ll like to be a part of.” Tooru flapped a hand over towards Lev and Bokuto. “The giraffe over there is picking Bokuto-kun’s brains about some big ace secret; you don’t want him to get one over on you, do you?”

“N-no!” Hinata stuttered, head shaking back and forth with a nearly audible snapping. He shifted on his feet, glancing over at Bokuto and Lev longingly, before peering up at Tetsurou. “Really?”

Tetsurou nodded, keeping the end goal at the forefront of his mind as he flashed Hinata a smile. “That’s right. You’ve learned from Bokuto before, haven’t you?”

“Oh, that’s right!” Hinata lit up and Tetsurou briefly considered shielding his eyes. “That feint is one of my favorite moves; it’s all like, _boop_ , and no one ever sees it coming! Is it like that?”

“Yup, exactly like that,” Tooru rushed, propelling Hinata forward with a small shove. “Now go!” He propped his hands on his hips with a sigh, watching Hinata bounce away. “Talking to Chibi-chan is like standing in the sun too long.”

“You probably get used to it,” Tetsurou suggested, following the way that Bokuto was starting to really get into whatever he was saying, swinging his arms around in a simulacrum of some sugar-high version of a traditional swing dance.

“Now what?” Tooru asked with a huff.

“Now we wait,” Tetsurou tugged him close again, skimming his nose along Tooru’s jawline. “And I can think of a couple of things to do in the meantime.”

“Oh?” Tooru tilted his head back, goosebumps erupting in the wake of Tetsurou’s hot breathe. “And what would that be?”

“Warm up,” Tetsurou murmured, finally closing his mouth around that lovely spot under Tooru’s jaw that always got him a reaction, and sure enough, he was rewarded with a pitchy mewl.

“Fuck,” Tetsurou sighed, sucking the skin into his mouth, nipping and laving at it until the spot burned to the touch. “Babe, the things you do to me.”

“You’re one to talk,” Tooru squirmed in his hold, pulling his head up to brush their lips together. “You don’t know how many times Iwa-chan’s gotten mad at me for all the noise I make when I’m thinking of you.” He bit Tetsurou’s lower lip, sucking on it softly before letting go with a lewd _pop_. “I can’t help it though; you always make me feel so good.” He rocked into him, grinding his erection against his. “So, _so_ , good.”

“Okay,” Tetsurou panted. “If something doesn’t happen in the next three minutes, I’m going to have to fuck you against the wall, because I don’t think I can wait anymore.” He took note of the sudden gleam that entered Tooru’s eyes before a dull scratching noise reached his ears.

Both of them turned to look, and sure enough, Bokuto was pushing the couch across the room, smiling charmingly at Kenma who was sitting on it cross-legged.

“Koutarou, what are you doing?”

“Making some space!” Bokuto answered cheerfully, scrambling back to carry their little coffee table over too. “You don’t have to move, don’t worry; you can put your stuff here!”

“Uh, thank you?”

“You’re welcome!” He beamed before rushing over to the sound system, waving off the protests as he cut off the super sugary pop song that had been playing. “Calm down, this is gonna be good, I promise!”

Tetsurou could see Akaashi whipping around, suspicion growing in his eyes. “Bokuto-san, what are-,”

“JITTERBUG TIME!” Bokuto hooted as something way too fast and way too modern for a classic swing dance began thumping out through the speakers.

Akaashi’s eyes widened in the closest thing to abject horror that Tetsurou could say he’d ever had the pleasure of witnessing. “Bokuto-san-!”

“Now,” Bokuto spoke over him, turning to his two very attentive students. “The number one thing to remember about swing dancing is that you can do it to any music, as long as you can keep up.” He started kicking his legs out and moving his arms in a way that should have been chaotic and dangerous, but actually managed to look pretty controlled. Lev and Hinata were enthralled. “Having a flexible partner is always good too.”

“How flexible?” Lev blurted out, a hand in the air. “Yaku-san said he’s never seen anyone with legs as long as mine who couldn’t-,”

“LEV!” Yaku barked, face flaming red as he shoved an elbow into Yamamoto’s snickering side. “SHUT UP.”

“Not that kind of flexible,” Bokuto laughed, moving onto some simple spins. “But that’s good too.”

“Bokuto-san, I really think you should-,”

“Akaashi!” Bokuto pointed at him, running over. “Thanks for volunteering!”

“Wha-,” Iwaizumi was left grasping at the air as Bokuto literally whisked Akaashi away from his side, dragging him along in a series of almost violent looking steps. Tetsurou wasn’t sure who looked more terrified, Iwaizumi gaping in the sidelines or Akaashi with his deer in the headlights expression as he struggled not to trip over Bokuto’s blurring feet, but both were equally satisfying to witness. Hell, even Kenma’s slightly narrowed eyes and the tightening grip he had on his DS was good for him.

“You’re doing great, Akaashi!” Bokuto beamed at his captive partner. “Now get ready; I’m going to flip you.”

“BOKUTO-SAN!”

“And that’s our cue to run,” Tetsurou whispered, pulling Tooru behind him as he beat a speedy retreat towards the hall, Lev and Hinata’s appropriately impressed oohing almost lost among the truly impressive shriek Akaashi had let out and Iwaizumi’s horrified bellow. “We have maybe fifteen minutes before Akaashi can wrestle himself away.”

_“Daichi, that looks like fun! Let’s try it!”_

_“What, Suga, no!”_

“Make that twenty-five,” Tooru corrected. “Suga-chan just bought us some time.”

“Got to remember to buy him something nice after this, then,” Tetsurou mused, shutting the door behind them and turning the lock with maybe a little too much glee.

“Tetsu-chan…”

Tetsurou turned around and promptly groaned, slapping a hand over his face. His bed was covered in coats, separated by oddly specific-looking piles and spread out evenly over every inch of his mattress. “I’m going to kill them.”

“Later,” Tooru demanded. “I’ll help. Just,” He waved his hands desperately.

“Yeah, I got it, just get the lube,” Tetsurou started scooping up pile after pile, dumping them unceremoniously on his desk, on the chair, and on the tiny window seat.

“If they can’t figure out which coat is theirs, then they have bigger things to worry about,” He muttered, turning around only to be tackled onto the bed. “Oof!”

“Finally,” Tooru muttered, settling securely on his lap before yanking him up into a vicious kiss, all tongue and teeth. It was all Tetsurou could do to keep up with him, moving his hands to brace himself on Tooru’s thighs, and then promptly choked when all he met was smooth skin.

He pulled away to look and sure enough, Tooru had taken the time to strip off his pants, although he’d kept the sweater, probably because it was the same shade of powdery blue as his panties.

“Oh fuck,” Tetsurou breathed, sliding his hands up to trace along the lacy seam that bit into the creases of his thighs. “These look amazing. _You_ look amazing.”

“Thanks,” Tooru grabbed his hands and dragged them further back. “Appreciate them a little quicker; we don’t have a lot of time.”

Tetsurou pouted at him, palming at the half-covered cheeks in his hands, silently marveling at the way the lace caught on his callouses in some parts and the smooth satin slipped over them like water in others. “But I thought this was my birthday present?”

“Your birthday present is that you get to stick your dick in me and you don’t even have to wait,” Tooru dove for his neck, biting and sucking up the length of it with those sinfully soft lips. “I stretched myself out already.”

“When?” Tetsurou asked even as he slipped his fingers through one of the panties' legs, prodding at Tooru’s entrance.

“When, _ah_ , when I pulled you into the bathroom,” Tooru gasped, rocking back into Tetsurou’s fingers. “I did it before. Didn’t want to wait.”

Tetsurou could only hiss as two of his fingers slid into Tooru easily, barely meeting any resistance at the rim before he was practically knuckle-deep in him. “You were thorough.”

“Always am,” Tooru laughed breathlessly, trembling fingers clawing the buttons of his shirt open carelessly enough that Tetsurou was sure he saw a button disappearing into the folds beneath them. “Fuck, come on Tetsu…”

“Yeah,” Tetsurou pulled his fingers out before adding a third, pressing his lips to Tooru’s Adam’s apple as he began to whine. “Shh, I just want to make sure you’re stretched enough.” He let out a shaky sigh of his own at the way he could feel Tooru’s walls clenching and relaxing sporadically around his fingers. “You’re still really tight.”

“Because I haven’t gotten laid since September,” Tooru’s snarky remark was missing a lot of bite, his swollen lips trembling as he began to roll his hips back and forward. “O-oh…”

Tetsurou pulled Tooru flush against his chest with his free hand, peering over his shoulder to watch the way the panties bunched around his knuckles as he moved steadily in and out. It was honestly a little overwhelming.

He curled his fingers on the next thrust, bracing Tooru when he jumped with a shout.

“ _Ah!_ Tetsu-chan, _please_ , stop teasing-!” He interrupted himself with a loud moan when Tetsurou did it again, harder. “I d-don’t want to come like this, I wa- _ah_ -nt to come on your c-cock!”

“Shit,” Tetsurou growled, pulling his fingers free and rolling them over. He sat up on his knees, thanking every celestial power in existence that he’d ditched the belt after the bathroom fiasco because he didn’t know if he could have managed to tear his eyes away from Tooru in order to undo the clasp.

Tooru was a vision, sprawled out beneath him with his glassy brown eyes and swollen lips, his long legs spreading out on the sheets, all the more striking for how the milky color of his skin contrasted the navy blue of his covers. His sweater had hiked up a little in their tumble, letting Tetsurou catch a glimpse of his stomach and the entire glory that was the way those tight little panties were fighting to hold his straining cock confined.

“Tetsu-chan, come on,” Tooru slid a hand up his sweater, eyelids fluttering shut with a gasp as he pinched his own nipple. “We don’t have a lot of time…” He trailed off with a whimper, fingers giving a sharp twist that Tetsurou felt in his own gut.

He viciously kicked his jeans off, crawling back to hover over Tooru. “But I want to taste every single inch of you,” He bent down to suck Tooru’s neglected nipple into his mouth, hard, the hand that he wasn’t using to brace himself grabbing Tooru around the waist when he arched off the bed. He pulled off, scraping his teeth over the red bud with a sigh. “You taste just as good as I remembered.”

“And I want to see if your cock feels just as good as I remember,” Tooru whimpered, bringing his trembling legs up to frame Tetsurou’s waist. “ _Please_.”

“Babe, that’s one thing you really don’t have to beg for,” Tetsurou grabbed for the lube he’d seen Tooru toss down earlier, pulling his briefs down with the other hand. “How are we doing this?”

“Like this,” Tooru raked his sweaty bangs off his forehead. “I like seeing your face and you like having me bent in half; this works fine.”

“I like having your legs pressed up my body,” Tetsurou corrected, dragging Tooru over by his lace-covered hips. “They’re sexy.”

“You’re such a pervert, Tetsu-chan.”

“Pot, kettle,” Tetsurou rolled his eyes, grunting as he coated himself in a way-too-cold handful of lube. At least it’d keep him from blowing his load too quickly.

“It’s okay,” Tooru slid his thumbs through his waistband, sighing as his erection finally bounced free. “I think it’s cute.”

“You’re cute,” Tetsurou muttered weakly, helping Tooru push his skimpy underwear the rest of the way down, grabbing his legs as soon he’d managed to kick one ankle free and tossing them over his shoulders. “And your legs are cute, and the way you scream my name is cute.”

“Don’t get ahea-AH AH!” Tooru screamed, anchoring himself with handfuls of Tetsurou’s open shirt as he pushed halfway in one smooth stroke. “ _Fuck_ , yes!”

“Not my name, but it’s okay,” Tetsurou blinked the sweat out of his eyes as he kept his gaze focused on Tooru’s overwhelmed expression. “We’ll get there.”

“Shut up and _fuck me_ already,” Tooru hauled him down by the bangs into a sloppy kiss, broken only by his high-pitched whine when Tetsurou sank the rest of the way in. “I’m fine, _move_.”

“Um, you may be fine, but I need a moment,” Tetsurou gasped, squeezing his eyes shut against the ridiculous tightness around his cock. “You’re really tight, fuck.” He pulled out slowly, a groan escaping from deep within his chest at the effort it took. “Just, damn; it’s like you don’t want to let go of my cock.”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Tooru hiccupped, fine tremors making his legs twitch against Tetsurou’s torso with each shallow thrust. “If you, _ah_ , keep talking l-like that, I’m not going to la- _ah-_ st.”

“I thought that was the point.” But Tetsurou conceded, securing one of Tooru’s sturdy thighs firmly against his chest and pressing the other hand on the bed next to his head, forgoing anymore talking in favor of focusing on thrusting into that hot spasming channel. Tooru shared his appreciation by raking his nails down his chest, catching his nipples on the way around to his back.

Tetsurou cursed, jerking into him at a different angle that had Tooru choking on air and shaking with a cry.

“Ohoho? Did I find it?”

Don’t you dare start with tha-AH, RIGHT THERE!” Tetsurou kept at it, bending down to muffle his own helpless moan in Tooru’s neck as his boyfriend started moaning brokenly, the muscles in his legs jumping noticeably with each hard thrust. “God, Tetsu, _don’t stop_ ,” He sobbed, digging his nails into Tetsurou’s back almost hard enough to draw blood. Or maybe he did, Tetsurou didn’t care, as long as he kept crying his name like that.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Tetsurou practically whined, tracing the path of a bead of sweat up Tooru’s jaw, hovering over the corner of his open mouth. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Tooru moved his head, sliding his lips over Tetsurou’s. “Love the way you make me feel, love _you_ -,”

Tetsurou swallowed down the rest of his words, hips losing their rhythm as he got that much closer to the edge, desperately trying to push Tooru over before him. He slid his hand down Tooru’s thigh, making his way for his leaking cock, but the moment he hit the juncture where thigh became hip, Tooru wrenched his head back with a yell, seizing up around him.

The shock of seeing Tooru come untouched and the sudden vice grip around his cock did it for him, and he came with his own loud groan, his own personal summer festival’s worth of fireworks exploding behind his eyes. He continued to thrust through his orgasm, small shocks running through his system with each high-pitched whimper Tooru let out until he finally just collapsed on him, letting his legs slip off his shoulders.

“Holy shit,” He panted after a minute or so. “I don’t think I can feel my fingers.” When no whiny comment about his ass followed, Tetsurou pushed himself up on his shaking arms, peering down at his boyfriend in concern. “Tooru?”

“I’m fine,” Tooru muttered, chest heaving. “Ah, I just feel so good right now, I don’t want to move.” He smiled, eyes finally fluttering open to look up at Tetsurou. “Tetsu-chan always makes me feel so good.”

Tetsurou huffed out a laugh, leaning into the hands that Tooru was running along his face. “I’m glad.” He ran a hand soothingly down one of Tooru’s thighs. “Especially since I love the way you make me feel too.” He leaned down, coaxing a soft and lazy kiss out of Tooru, more of a gentle press of their lips against each than anything else. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Tooru murmured, nose crinkling happily.

“Yeah, you really loved the way I touched your legs too.” Tetsurou ran a finger along the seam of his hip. “Guess I’m not the only kinky one here, huh?”

“Shut up!”

* * *

 

They managed to get themselves back into their pants in a timely and efficient manner, if Tetsurou did say so himself. His shirt did turn out to be missing a few buttons, but luckily they were close enough to the top that he could justify leaving them unbuttoned as a fashion statement. A fashion statement that made him look a bit like a gigolo, but nobody was perfect.

They stumbled back into the living room just in time to see Akaashi practically collapse into Iwaizumi’s arms with a weary sigh, Bokuto having apparently picked another hapless victim to endure his flips.

“That was fun!” Sugawara sidled up to them with an easy laugh, eyes fond. “Daichi’s dancing with Hinata now,” He answered their unasked question, nodding to the makeshift dance floor. “He felt bad for him after Tsukishima turned him down.”

“Aw, poor Chibi-chan,” Tooru shook his head sadly, cheeks still really flushed. “I’m sure Glasses-kun will come around.”

“Yeah,” Tetsurou ran his hand through his hair, not really out of worry of it looking too bad –a hard feat to achieve- but more to have something to do while under Sugawara’s all-seeing eyes. “Tsukki just needs a push in the right direction every once in a while.”

“I know. I got him to dance with _me_ instead.” Sugawara’s grin widened, pointing to where Tsukishima was sulking on the couch, glaring at his knees with all the bearings of a child who’d been embarrassed by his mother.

“Oh, nice one, Suga-chan!” Tooru looked suitably impressed and Tetsurou honestly couldn’t help the natural wariness he felt around all setters; unnerving.

“Not as nice as you two,” Sugawara looked at his watch. “Twenty-five minutes, right on the dot.”

Absolutely unnerving.

“You’re lucky that Kozume-kun stepped up though,” He continued. “I don’t think I could have stopped Iwaizumi from breaking Akaashi-kun free otherwise.” He gestured again, and Tetsurou didn’t know how he could have possibly missed it before, but Kenma was the one dancing with Bokuto now, although he’d managed to coax him into something slower than a swing dance. Bokuto looked ecstatic either way, so he figured it was fine.

“He asked Iwa-chan to dance?” Tooru blinked. “Iwa-chan won’t even dance with _me_.”

“Well, Kozume-kun _is_ pretty hard to say no to,” Sugawara shrugged helplessly.

“It’s because he never asks for anything,” Tetsurou added. “He’ll blindside you like that.”

“Still,” Tooru pouted, glaring half-heartedly over where Iwaizumi was offering Akaashi a cup of water, apparently unaware that the arm he had around his waist was the reason for Akaashi’s unrelenting red face, not exertion. “It’s nice to see that he’s finally getting somewhere, I guess.”

“That’s the spirit,” Tetsurou grabbed his hand and pressed a kiss to it, winking at Sugawara who pretended to be flustered with a laugh. “I think we have some pretty good friends, don’t you?”

“Hm, the best,” Tooru agreed, tilting his head up at him for a kiss. “Happy birthday, Tetsu-chan.”

“Yeah, best birthday ever,” He murmured back, leaning down to deepen their kiss. The best for sure.

**Author's Note:**

> Have you ever finished writing something so absolutely filthy and then looked up to make direct eye contact with a portrait of Jesus? Yeah, that happened. *Sweats*


End file.
